shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
