he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
