I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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