I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
