Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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