I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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