she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Vodka?
Forever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
