Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
this is an emotional support booty call
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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