I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
