My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize