she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sext me about skeletons
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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