I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
