apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
this will be a night to untag.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
