Sry I called you an 8
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
