in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
