I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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