Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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