Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
