Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
