the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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