Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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