I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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