I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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