So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
