I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
