Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
