I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You're a waste of cheezeits
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
