I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
