Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
