My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
