I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
