You can't special order awesome
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
