At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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