YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
