I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
