Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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