those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
