I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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