Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
