he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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