On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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