so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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