Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
