Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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