I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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