I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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