And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
