Please, let me fuck your mom
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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