Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
