I look better un-naked...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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