I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
