i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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